How many times have you failed your resolutions?
It starts out all great, like, "I'm gonna read this year!" or "I'm going to remember birthdays!" but then week two rolls around and we're like, "whatever, reading Facebook is reading, right?" We think we're cute and act like we don't care, in the moment. Partly, because we lie and say that we still have time, because "duh" there's like 11 more months to get it together.
But then July comes, life has unraveled, every day closes on a wing and a prayer and none of the resolutions I set are remembered, much less achieved.
Have you ever felt that way? Full of intention, but a flop on the execution.
For a whole host of reasons, I spent the better part of 2017 feeling like a total mess. I was unorganized, disconnected, and exasperated. I started out on the right foot with the excitement and liberation of turning 40. Last year's approaching birthday motivated me to stay on top of my weight loss goals, look my best, and think about all the great things I wanted for the hopeful second half of my life. But somewhere in the passing days, I got tired. Completely worn out. I opened a kitchen cabinet, pushed the health shake mixes to the side and made a cozy little nook right on the shelf for all that motivation. The dark shelf could have it and hold it for later, or maybe just always. Ha! And then, I closed the door on it. I was so spent, I don't even remember shelving it.
Sound familiar?
For years, I have repeated the same dance of moving forward, then backward, then disappearing into an unfolded laundry pile on the floor, taking with me all pride and positivity. It's like the scene from the Wizard of Oz where the Wicked Witch melted into a puddle of nothingness. Except, I melted down to my knees and was just stuck. There I stood melted into place, frustrated and waving my broom in the air. I can report, no one is impressed with a frozen witch flailing an ineffective broomstick.
What I didn't realize was that the entire year of messy brokenness was giving me something better than productivity. It was gifting me with introspection. When you pile so many things on yourself, there isn't time to be reflective, to question why we do what we do. We have filled our lives with so much noise that we haven't even a second to process or think. We collapse into bed, day after day after day, reenacting the same time tail-chasing behavior as the day before. And then one day, from poor self-care and exhaustion, we wake up overweight, mildly depressed, and disappointed, asking, "how did I end up here?". (For extra truth: we also have bags under our eyes, mismatched clothes, spouses we don't remember marrying, and bathroom drawers that only McGyver could appreciate)
Enter: Mise en place. SAY IT WITH ME NOW. MISE EN PLACE.
Well, Mise en place and brutal honesty.
Mise en place is a French phrase that basically means get your stuff together before you start. Or, everything in its place. In a kitchen, you would have all your ingredients chopped, diced, laid out, so you can cook more efficiently. Can you imagine if a professional kitchen stopped and diced the garlic when the Chef came to that place in the recipe? Valentine's dinner would be served on Easter Sunday! They'd never get it done.
So, why do we do that? We get the idea for this great meal (idea), maybe even buy the ingredients (tools), but we don't prepare to have them in place for an effortless execution.
Here's the tricky part. I'm a perfectionist. And a little ADD. I.never.get.going...because I am waiting on everything to be perfect before I begin. This is one reason I have often ignored the edict to have everything ready before I begin.
But this year, it occurred to me that I can't set goals and not at least have SOME things in place to help me achieve those goals. I can't say, "I'm going to read 56 books," thinking I'll just run to Barnes and Noble and buy a book every week. I also know that I am not going to the library. (It's cheaper for me to buy the book - don't ask.) I also know that I do not even have ten minutes to myself to shower alone. Regardless of the visual I have in my head of sitting with a hardbound cover, sipping hot tea, with a blanket, and lap cat, THAT is someone else's life and I must be realistic that it is not ever.going.to.be.mine.
But I CAN listen to many of them. And thereby get it done. So, I took the time to (again) download Audible, buy some credits, download some books, and pop in my bluetooth headphones when I'm washing dishes or picking up toys.
Another thing Chefs do? They improvise. If they are out of something, they don't always ditch the dish (I know, I know, a professional chef would have planned better and wouldn't be out of an ingredient for a planned dish), so let's go with "Home Chef". They are flexible and creative. This is the feedback I give my halting perfectionism. I need to have everything in it's place, but if I come to a hiccup, I must be flexible, creative, and move forward.
I'll check in again to share my progress (and my favorite new apps), but I wanted to share with you four reminders and four tools I've added to help me have everything in its place and hopefully follow through on some resolutions. I can't promise a ton of progress on organized bathroom drawers, considering genetics and all, but we can start somewhere!
1. BRUTAL HONESTY. Be honest with yourself and your limitations.
2. SMALL GOALS FIRST. Would you rather achieve a small goal or accomplish a big nothing?
3. MISE EN PLACE. Everything in its place. (Or at least a couple things to help you out)
4. BE FLEXIBLE AND CREATIVE. Try to have everything in it's place, but when you can't, don't stop! Be flexible and creative to move forward.
A few new tools:
1. PAPER CALENDAR:
Added a paper calendar back to my toolkit. Already, I can better visualize the days and tasks ahead. I chose this one, because of the layout and accompanying stickers. (All 80's children need to reconnect with their inner Mrs. Grossman!)
https://www.amazon.com/ideas-Create-Happy-Planner-Undated/dp/B06VV29L22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1514933271&sr=8-1&keywords=me+and+my+big+ideas+planner+mini
Speaking of Mrs. Grossman's, it is still around!
https://mrsgrossmans.com/
2. WIRELESS/BLUETOOTH EARBUDS:
My dh got me Apple AirPods for Christmas! Folks, these are a game changer! Paired with my Audible downloads or a calming playlist, I can now easily catch up on my favorite reads while doing dishes, laundry, or yard work. The monotony of those tasks disappears and I can fill my brain with something other than noise.
You can easily buy another brand of wireless headphones or earbuds for less. But if you're a die-hard Apple user like me, here's a link for the AirPods:
https://www.amazon.com/Apple-Airpods-Wireless-Bluetooth-Headset/dp/B01LZ3VPH4/ref=sr_1_4?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1515174627&sr=1-4&keywords=apple+airpods
Update: I've already listened to And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie and have started Murder On The Orient Express! (My goal is 56 books by the end of the year)
https://www.amazon.com/And-Then-There-Were-None/dp/B00ENI0HUI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1515175651&sr=8-1&keywords=and+then+there+were+none+audible
https://www.amazon.com/Murder-Orient-Express-Hercule-Mystery/dp/B00ENIRIWS/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1515175685&sr=1-2&keywords=Murder+on+the+orient+express+audible
3. AMAZON ECHO AND ALEXA:
Y'all. We are going to pretend she is Southern and call her Alexa Ann. The truth is that her name is probably Alexa Babushka (are the Russians really spying?), but anyway...she tells me what time it is and reads me stories, so that's good enough, right?
I love her. And if she could, she would love me back. I just know it.
Also, remember intercoms in old houses? Put an echo dot in your children's rooms and you've got yourself an intercom! Brilliant!
https://www.amazon.com/all-new-amazon-echo-speaker-with-wifi-alexa-dark-charcoal/dp/B06XCM9LJ4/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1515174747&sr=1-1&keywords=amazon+echo
https://www.amazon.com/Amazon-Echo-Dot-Portable-Bluetooth-Speaker-with-Alexa-Black/dp/B01DFKC2SO/ref=sr_1_2?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1515174769&sr=1-2&keywords=amazon+echo
4. BLUETOOTH SCALE AND FITNESS APP (I use Fitness Pal):
I'm one of those that likes to take head shots and selfies from the neck up. But then some fool wants to take a surprise full length photo and sneak it up on social media. No more pretending. Not only do I need a scale that tells me the truth, I need one that logs it into the permanence of my iPhone. Have you ever weighed and then journaled a pound less? Somehow I think it helps me. It does not.
https://www.amazon.com/Connected-Conductive-Technology-Measurements-Monitoring/dp/B01IFYLARO/ref=pd_sbs_328_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01IFYLARO&pd_rd_r=6MBKZT86CHH8BHDMHMKE&pd_rd_w=uJU3U&pd_rd_wg=5PASj&psc=1&refRID=6MBKZT86CHH8BHDMHMKE
Happy New Year my friends! Let's make it a great one!
It starts out all great, like, "I'm gonna read this year!" or "I'm going to remember birthdays!" but then week two rolls around and we're like, "whatever, reading Facebook is reading, right?" We think we're cute and act like we don't care, in the moment. Partly, because we lie and say that we still have time, because "duh" there's like 11 more months to get it together.
But then July comes, life has unraveled, every day closes on a wing and a prayer and none of the resolutions I set are remembered, much less achieved.
Have you ever felt that way? Full of intention, but a flop on the execution.
For a whole host of reasons, I spent the better part of 2017 feeling like a total mess. I was unorganized, disconnected, and exasperated. I started out on the right foot with the excitement and liberation of turning 40. Last year's approaching birthday motivated me to stay on top of my weight loss goals, look my best, and think about all the great things I wanted for the hopeful second half of my life. But somewhere in the passing days, I got tired. Completely worn out. I opened a kitchen cabinet, pushed the health shake mixes to the side and made a cozy little nook right on the shelf for all that motivation. The dark shelf could have it and hold it for later, or maybe just always. Ha! And then, I closed the door on it. I was so spent, I don't even remember shelving it.
Sound familiar?
For years, I have repeated the same dance of moving forward, then backward, then disappearing into an unfolded laundry pile on the floor, taking with me all pride and positivity. It's like the scene from the Wizard of Oz where the Wicked Witch melted into a puddle of nothingness. Except, I melted down to my knees and was just stuck. There I stood melted into place, frustrated and waving my broom in the air. I can report, no one is impressed with a frozen witch flailing an ineffective broomstick.
What I didn't realize was that the entire year of messy brokenness was giving me something better than productivity. It was gifting me with introspection. When you pile so many things on yourself, there isn't time to be reflective, to question why we do what we do. We have filled our lives with so much noise that we haven't even a second to process or think. We collapse into bed, day after day after day, reenacting the same time tail-chasing behavior as the day before. And then one day, from poor self-care and exhaustion, we wake up overweight, mildly depressed, and disappointed, asking, "how did I end up here?". (For extra truth: we also have bags under our eyes, mismatched clothes, spouses we don't remember marrying, and bathroom drawers that only McGyver could appreciate)
Enter: Mise en place. SAY IT WITH ME NOW. MISE EN PLACE.
Well, Mise en place and brutal honesty.
Mise en place is a French phrase that basically means get your stuff together before you start. Or, everything in its place. In a kitchen, you would have all your ingredients chopped, diced, laid out, so you can cook more efficiently. Can you imagine if a professional kitchen stopped and diced the garlic when the Chef came to that place in the recipe? Valentine's dinner would be served on Easter Sunday! They'd never get it done.
So, why do we do that? We get the idea for this great meal (idea), maybe even buy the ingredients (tools), but we don't prepare to have them in place for an effortless execution.
Here's the tricky part. I'm a perfectionist. And a little ADD. I.never.get.going...because I am waiting on everything to be perfect before I begin. This is one reason I have often ignored the edict to have everything ready before I begin.
But this year, it occurred to me that I can't set goals and not at least have SOME things in place to help me achieve those goals. I can't say, "I'm going to read 56 books," thinking I'll just run to Barnes and Noble and buy a book every week. I also know that I am not going to the library. (It's cheaper for me to buy the book - don't ask.) I also know that I do not even have ten minutes to myself to shower alone. Regardless of the visual I have in my head of sitting with a hardbound cover, sipping hot tea, with a blanket, and lap cat, THAT is someone else's life and I must be realistic that it is not ever.going.to.be.mine.
But I CAN listen to many of them. And thereby get it done. So, I took the time to (again) download Audible, buy some credits, download some books, and pop in my bluetooth headphones when I'm washing dishes or picking up toys.
Another thing Chefs do? They improvise. If they are out of something, they don't always ditch the dish (I know, I know, a professional chef would have planned better and wouldn't be out of an ingredient for a planned dish), so let's go with "Home Chef". They are flexible and creative. This is the feedback I give my halting perfectionism. I need to have everything in it's place, but if I come to a hiccup, I must be flexible, creative, and move forward.
I'll check in again to share my progress (and my favorite new apps), but I wanted to share with you four reminders and four tools I've added to help me have everything in its place and hopefully follow through on some resolutions. I can't promise a ton of progress on organized bathroom drawers, considering genetics and all, but we can start somewhere!
1. BRUTAL HONESTY. Be honest with yourself and your limitations.
2. SMALL GOALS FIRST. Would you rather achieve a small goal or accomplish a big nothing?
3. MISE EN PLACE. Everything in its place. (Or at least a couple things to help you out)
4. BE FLEXIBLE AND CREATIVE. Try to have everything in it's place, but when you can't, don't stop! Be flexible and creative to move forward.
A few new tools:
1. PAPER CALENDAR:
Added a paper calendar back to my toolkit. Already, I can better visualize the days and tasks ahead. I chose this one, because of the layout and accompanying stickers. (All 80's children need to reconnect with their inner Mrs. Grossman!)
https://www.amazon.com/ideas-Create-Happy-Planner-Undated/dp/B06VV29L22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1514933271&sr=8-1&keywords=me+and+my+big+ideas+planner+mini
Speaking of Mrs. Grossman's, it is still around!
https://mrsgrossmans.com/
2. WIRELESS/BLUETOOTH EARBUDS:
My dh got me Apple AirPods for Christmas! Folks, these are a game changer! Paired with my Audible downloads or a calming playlist, I can now easily catch up on my favorite reads while doing dishes, laundry, or yard work. The monotony of those tasks disappears and I can fill my brain with something other than noise.
You can easily buy another brand of wireless headphones or earbuds for less. But if you're a die-hard Apple user like me, here's a link for the AirPods:
https://www.amazon.com/Apple-Airpods-Wireless-Bluetooth-Headset/dp/B01LZ3VPH4/ref=sr_1_4?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1515174627&sr=1-4&keywords=apple+airpods
Update: I've already listened to And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie and have started Murder On The Orient Express! (My goal is 56 books by the end of the year)
https://www.amazon.com/And-Then-There-Were-None/dp/B00ENI0HUI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1515175651&sr=8-1&keywords=and+then+there+were+none+audible
https://www.amazon.com/Murder-Orient-Express-Hercule-Mystery/dp/B00ENIRIWS/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1515175685&sr=1-2&keywords=Murder+on+the+orient+express+audible
3. AMAZON ECHO AND ALEXA:
Y'all. We are going to pretend she is Southern and call her Alexa Ann. The truth is that her name is probably Alexa Babushka (are the Russians really spying?), but anyway...she tells me what time it is and reads me stories, so that's good enough, right?
I love her. And if she could, she would love me back. I just know it.
Also, remember intercoms in old houses? Put an echo dot in your children's rooms and you've got yourself an intercom! Brilliant!
https://www.amazon.com/all-new-amazon-echo-speaker-with-wifi-alexa-dark-charcoal/dp/B06XCM9LJ4/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1515174747&sr=1-1&keywords=amazon+echo
https://www.amazon.com/Amazon-Echo-Dot-Portable-Bluetooth-Speaker-with-Alexa-Black/dp/B01DFKC2SO/ref=sr_1_2?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1515174769&sr=1-2&keywords=amazon+echo
4. BLUETOOTH SCALE AND FITNESS APP (I use Fitness Pal):
I'm one of those that likes to take head shots and selfies from the neck up. But then some fool wants to take a surprise full length photo and sneak it up on social media. No more pretending. Not only do I need a scale that tells me the truth, I need one that logs it into the permanence of my iPhone. Have you ever weighed and then journaled a pound less? Somehow I think it helps me. It does not.
https://www.amazon.com/Connected-Conductive-Technology-Measurements-Monitoring/dp/B01IFYLARO/ref=pd_sbs_328_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01IFYLARO&pd_rd_r=6MBKZT86CHH8BHDMHMKE&pd_rd_w=uJU3U&pd_rd_wg=5PASj&psc=1&refRID=6MBKZT86CHH8BHDMHMKE
Happy New Year my friends! Let's make it a great one!
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